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hello i am fat

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I just had a snickers bar. Bucket O' Chicken said "ME WANT SNICKERS!" and I said "hey! okay! me too!" That is the glory of going off a diet in a spectacular fashion. You dig around in the bottom of your purse in an ignominious fashion, scrambling for every last bit of change that has gone hiding in the corners of your bag like cookie crumbs or bits of biscuit from the McMuffin you stuffed in there for an after-work snack, and you take your pile of greasy change and you go downstairs to the breakroom and you punch in E5 and you barely manage to wait until you get back up to your desk to cram the whole thing, in three bites, into your face.

That's what going off a diet is like.

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