<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/plusone.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d8629618\x26blogName\x3dhello+i+am+fat\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dSILVER\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttp://plork.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den_US\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://plork.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d8555273251081947638', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>

hello i am fat

« Home | Next » | Next » | Next » | Next » | Next » | Next » | Next » | Next » | Next » | Next »

oh, hell

I kept waiting for someone to come barrelling into the bathroom, shrieking "STOP!" I kept waiting for someone to tell me "you know, this is a really, really bad idea." I kept waiting to believe the little voice in my head that was cowering in the corner with its hands over its eyes going "Oh man. Oh, man, I can't look."

But that never happened. And so I cut my own bangs. They were in my eyes! They were floppy, and stupid, and driving me nuts! What was I supposed to do, spend seventy five dollars on a bang trim? Okay, fine. Maybe. But there I was. Snip. Snipsnip. Snipsnipsnipsnip.

Oh, shit.

You'd think I'd listen to the second group of voices that said "okay, like, maybe you should leave well enough alone?"

"Choppy" is in, right?

  1. Blogger Loretta | 1:33 PM |  

    Choppy is so in!

  2. Anonymous Anonymous | 8:38 PM |  

    OK, I'M FUCKIN' SICK OF THIS FAT-KINS DIET. YOU FUCKIN' CARB COUNTING ASSHOLES REALLY
    NEED TO STOP. ALL I HEAR OUT OF EVERYONE'S MOUTH IS, OH I CAN'T EAT THAT, IT HAS
    CARBS.... WELL YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU NEED CARBS, IF YOU DON'T HAVE CARBS YOUR BRAIN
    ROTS AND YOUR LIVER GETS DAMAGED. NICE. YOUR THIN, AND HAVE SOME WEIRD ASS MENTAL
    DISSEASE AND A BAD LIVER. YEP, THE VANITY IS WORTH IT.

    I'M ALSO SICK OF THIS FUCKIN' EXCHANGE PROGRAM, WHERE YOU MINUS THE FIBER GRAMS
    FROM THE FAT GRAMS AND THE CARB GRAMS, TO DETERMINE WHAT THE CARB RATIO IS IN
    YOUR FOOD. FUCK THAT. WHEN I PICK UP FOOD I'M NOT GONNA START DOING ADDITION AND
    SUBTRACTION TO SEE IF IT'S A FUCKIN' MEAL I CAN EAT. HOW ABOUT JUST MINUSING SOME
    FUCKIN' FOOD FROM YOUR EVERY DAY EATING BINGES YOU FAT BASTARDS. STOP LOOKING TO
    SOME DEAD MAN FOR A QUICK FIX DIET AND JUST EAT LIKE A SESIBLE HUMAN BEING.

    YOU NEVER SEE ANY FAT SQUIRRLES DO YA?
    WHY?

    BECAUSE WE EXCERSICE BY JUMPING FROM TREE TO TREE AND ONLY EAT NUTS. AND THE
    OCATIONAL BAGEL THAT SOMEONE THROWS OUT.

    STOP BEING SO CONCERNED ABOUT YOUR IMAGE AND JUST BE YOURSELF. IF YOUR A FAT
    BASTARD, FINE, BE A FAT BASTARD. IF YOU'RE AN ANOREXIC JACK-ASS WITH A THYROID
    PROBLEM, FINE...BE A TWIG. STOP DOING ALL THESE UNNESSECARY DIETS.

    CAUSE YOU KNOW, ONCE YOU GET DOWN TO YOUR GOAL WEIGHT, YOU'RE GONNA BE LIKE:
    "SURE, I CAN HAVE AN EXTRA PIECE OF CAKE, LOOK AT ALL THE WEIGHT I LOST. THEN BEFORE
    YOU KNOW IT, RRRRRRWEEEEEEEETT. BACK ON A DIET CAUSE YOUR ASS IS FALLIN' OUT OF
    YOUR JEANS.

    JUST BE YOURSELF. EAT THAT TWINKIE. ENJOY THAT CAKE, BUY THAT EXTRA POUND OF
    GOURMET CREAM CHEESE YOU ALWAYS WANTED!!! AND IF PEOPLE LOOK AT YOU FUNNY
    BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO FAT OR TOO SKINNY, TELL EM TO FUCK OFF AND DIE. YOU DO NOT NEED
    TO ADHERE TO THE IDEALISTIC VISION OF BEAUTY MARKETED BY FASHION MAGAZINES AND
    NEGATIVELY RE-NFORCED BY A SOCIETY DUMB ENOUGH TO BELIEVE THAT BEAUTY ONLY
    APPEARS ON THE COVER OF A MAGAZINE.

    FUCK THEM ALL!!!

    NOW WEARS MY WAFFLE SUNDAE?

  3. Anonymous Anonymous | 8:42 PM |  

    Give me a fucking break. Someone should just stab you in the eyes with a fucking really hot french fry, you fat bastard. Hope you choke on your own fat. Fatty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. Blogger ThermaZan | 3:41 PM |  

    Alot of interesting comments on this blog, I was searching for some doctor related info and some how cam across this site. I found it pretty cool, so I bookmarked. I'll really liked the second post on the front page, that got my attention.

    My site is in a bit different area, but just as useful. I have a rapid weight loss pill related site focusing on rapid weight loss pill and mens health related topics.

leave a response