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hello i am fat

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stupid pants

Everything hurts. I'm not exactly sure why everything hurts, and I fear it is because I am old, because I haven't really done much except walk. I have aged to the point where walking breaks me. That is a little depressing.

To be fair, I've walked a lot more often, and up hills, and faster and longer than I have in a long time, as part of my Everyday Active Plan, which is a plan I just made up in my head. But that's what I've been doing – making a conscious effort to not just stand and wait for the bus, to take a line that leaves me further from where I'm going or at the bottom of a big hill, to not ask passerby to carry me up the big hill, or burst into tears when faced with one.

It's been a pretty good way of doing things, especially since I'm temporarily breaking up with the gym. This is a smart thing. Because the gym has been impossibly, horribly unpleasant. I have tried every cardio machine in the place and on all of them, the twenty minutes I tell myself I can get through is killing me. Just killing me. This is tragic and stupid and ashameful and it is more than I can do to make myself go and so I don't go and that is a bad thing. Bad thing! Bad!

So I am concentrating on being Captain Everyday Cardio, and I'm eating rightly, and I have made a deal with myself that I will walk to and/or from work (which is about two miles each way) several or three times a week and that will, for now, be the exercise I do until I am in a shape where the gym is not a horrible torture place. It makes me laugh and also cry small tears that I need to get in shape in order to go to the gym.

This Alternate Fitness Plan is, however so far working. If my scale is to be believed, I have lost a further four pounds, making me losing of twelve pounds in total, and filled with all kinds of glee. My pants still fit stupid, though. Stupid pants.

  1. Blogger Shrinking Girl | 5:40 PM |  

    who cares about stupid pants, you've lost some serious pounds. Way to go!!

  2. Blogger Kerri | 6:56 PM |  

    Rock on! You are doing great. And, you shall defeat the stupid pants one day soon. Or, say the hell with 'em and find a more refined, intelligent pair of pants.

    Congrats on the lost poundage!

  3. Blogger Lisa | 1:40 AM |  

    Hey, that's fantastic! Way to go on the weight loss and your everyday cardio plan! I'm impressed and inspired :)

  4. Anonymous honestyrain | 5:41 AM |  

    we all have stupid pants. i had a chat with mine the other day, asked them to stop being stupid already. they didn't stop. they like being stupid. why would they? i don't know. maybe they feel like it's too late to change. silly pants. still i love them, dear silly pants.

  5. Blogger Ms Gigglepuss | 5:52 PM |  

    Way to go on dropping the pounds! It sounds like you're definitely on the right track with the Everyday Active Plan. Keep up the great work!

  6. Anonymous BethK | 10:02 AM |  

    You're doing great! The only reason I started out in the gym rather than by walking outside is that I'm sort of allergic to the planet. I felt like a total idiot going in for the all of 15 minutes I could stay on the elliptical back then. Twelve pounds is major loss-age.

    I just got the last laugh with my stupid pants. They are sad and lonely now, hanging in the back of the closet. I don't need them any more. I have found new pants, smaller pants, who love and respect me. Now I laugh at them, "Ha ha stupid pants..."

  7. Blogger Kris | 4:39 PM |  

    I tried to leave this comment yesterday, but Stupid Blogger (must be related to Stupid Pants) wouldn't let me!

    Congrats on your loss! I am trying to keep active and start out slowly as well. Maybe after a month or so I will build up to the point where I am ready for a gym. It's tough, because that part of me that wants to just do more and make it go by faster is a big mouth. Then there's the part of me (namely my knees) that says, hey...take it easy, huh?

  8. Blogger kathrynoh | 4:19 AM |  

    It is so much nicer to exercise outside than in a smelly old gym especially walking. Outside there is always a heap of distractions while a treadmill is mostly boring (unless there is some interesting scenery to check out at the gym).

    Are your pants elastic waisted? I was getting discouraged cos my clothes weren't getting smaller then I realised most of my 'fat' clothes have elastic waistbands... der.

  9. Blogger Kelly | 6:14 PM |  


    So I know from reading your archives that you're all about having a structured plan, and I have to put in a plug for ediets. (I swear, I'm not with their marketing department, but for the number of times I have suggested them they really should be paying me a commission). I'm doing the Dr. Phil Shape-Up Plan with them which is basically just a very balanced diet. But they put your on 3 meals and 2 snacks and give you menus, recipes, and grocery lists. So if you're ever searching for another concrete plan, that's my suggestion.

    And I'm loving your writing. Thanks for making me giggle about my weight.

  10. Anonymous Queen | 5:48 PM |  

    THANK YOU for saying everything that is in my head.

    Now get OUT of there!

  11. Blogger Debbie | 12:51 PM |  

    GREAT for you!

    I think that the break from the gym is good. The gym isn't for everyone.

  12. Blogger Lisa | 10:19 PM |  

    Hmm, I'm wondering if those stupid pants have eaten you up and thus stopped you from blogging nasty things about them lol

  13. Blogger LoseThatWeight | 3:18 PM |  

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    If you got time , go visit my site, it´s about green tea weight loss. It pretty much covers green tea weight loss and other similar topics available.

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