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hello i am fat

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you ain't got no alibi

I got sick again. Yes, again. With the grossness and the dying. And then I got busy. And I was busy and sick at the same time. And sick of being busy, and busy being sick. And so on. It is as interesting to write about as I am sure it is interesting for you to be reading.

Dietetically speaking, all that went in my face for two weeks was orange juice and bits of toast soaked in tea. And then when I emerged from my quarantine, I found that there was nothing left in the house but bits of hard cheese, a freezer-burnt popsicle, and the fixings for peanut butter and jelly (miraculously, I always seem to have pb&j fixings. It is a Gift), and so I lived off of those for a few weeks.

And now I am weak as a kitten with the muscle tone of a pudding cup, but I have stayed within the same three pound range, and I am going to go ahead and call that a victory, cheering faintly. Hurrah.


So once again, frustratingly, never-endingly, I have to Get Back On Track and Get to Getting and Keep on Chunging and You Know, Stuff. Because I am tired of the Stupid Pants and I am tired of being tired and I am tired of being tired of being tired and Where Will It End? Woe! Etcetera.

So I joined eDiets today (thank you for the suggestion, Kelly) which is just my style, what with the Exciting Structure and the Meal Plans and the Shopping Lists. But which also features fucking cottage fucking cheese, for fuck's sake (p.s. fuck). And I don't know what exactly they want me to be eating with that cottage cheese, but I don't look forward to asking for it at the grocery store:


Hi, I'm twelve! (Cough.)

But anyway, thanks for all the huzzah! comments in my last entry, which were very, very appreciated, and here's to full speed ahead and all that good stuff. And someday, burning the stupid pants.

  1. Anonymous Anonymous | 4:36 AM |  

    Read your post just now. As someone who also does e-diets, I was wondering if you realize that you can easily change the suggestions they provide for you if you don't like it.

    Go to meal plan and click the change meal plan button. A whole list of other items you can use instead will appear. As someone who absolutley hates nuts and peanut butter I use this feature constantly.

  2. Blogger Megan | 6:23 AM |  

    Well, according to the little chart, you're supposed to eat cottage cheese with "fruit cock". Naturally. Doesn't everyone?

    So glad that the grossness and the dying is over with. And I do agree, that being able to conjure up PB&J from the detritus of a two-week sickness whirl is truly A Gift. Use it wisely.

  3. Blogger Katya | 12:43 AM |  

    great blog, as someone who hasn't got enough willpower to even start my holiday diet I bow down to you...

    i hate cottage cheese too...ick

    i've linked you hope thats ok...


  4. Anonymous Jennifer | 8:51 AM |  

    Be sure to keep us posted on how eDiets goes. I'm considering doing that too. Right now I'm doing South Bitch, wherein I bitch about South Beach while splurging on pasta.

  5. Blogger Lisa | 11:58 PM |  

    Welcome back...sorry to hear you've been so unwell...glad to hear that you're improving. I HATE COTTAGE CHEESE! Shame we can't substitute it for cream cheese...too many points for me. Not that I know what points are about these days, I've been going through a points-free anihilation phase. Good luck with e-Diet!

  6. Blogger Kris | 10:35 AM |  

    Yes, please do keep us posted on e-diets. I've been considering it as well. Glad you are feeling better.

  7. Blogger blue2go | 3:24 PM |  

    Good to hear that you are feeling better. Ick, I hate cottage cheese too!

  8. Anonymous ~jess~ | 9:18 AM |  

    My favorite part was the fruit cock. Yummm...

    And I also detest cottage cheese. I've never tried it, I just think it looks like rancid milk.

  9. Blogger The Singing Butler | 8:07 PM |  

    Hahahaha. Cottage cheese with fruit cock. Ahahahaha.
    Tired of being tired is motivation. Harness it! And ride it off into the sunset of victory!

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