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hello i am fat

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If I am ready to consider something as major as major surgery, then I am ready to lose weight. I did not intend to spend the time between now and my consultation, or between the consultation and possibly-surgery lying around waiting for the trucks filled with butter to come hose me down.

If I do do this, I am going to go into it as ready as possible, start developing an exercise plan which is a good habit, a weight lifting plan so's I got some muscle tone that hopefully will not be washed away in a gush of weight loss, start working on thinking about good choices now, rather than be gobsmacked by the hey, wow, can't eat candy what?

So that I am in a good place, if I do go and do this, and if I don't? I have already started on the road to being healthy again. Like I said, I am pretty sure I'm ready.

Last night, before all the food in the fridge heaved and collapsed into sticky dust, I decided to start by making a good dinner. A chicken stir fry. I spent a long time chopping the vegetables that were not gooey and digging out the pan and de-fatting the chicken breasts and cutting them up and I pulled out the extra virgin olive oil and poured a tablespoon in and turned the knob on the stove, and it went click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click -

Etcetera. No flame. No pilot light. No gas going in, no gas going out, no idea what's going on, except that my stove's broke! PG&E are coming. Evenutally. I ate peanut butter & jelly. Which, you know, is better than General Tso's. But still.

  1. Blogger Tel | 7:34 PM |  

    Did you put the stir fry goods in the fridge for tonight? Bummer about your stove!

    Peanut butter is healthy. :)

  2. Anonymous littlem | 7:58 PM |  

    Sometimes you have to reach down and re-light the pilot light in person.

    Ask me how I know. No, don't.

    (Use a long kitchen match, though.)

    And then you can have your stir-fry tomorrow night. (Sympathy to you - I really HATE it when that happens.)

  3. Blogger anne | 11:45 PM |  

    Well, my very first impulse was to throw it all against the wall and go put my face in a bucket of ham. But no, eventually I packed it all up nice in tupperware and set it back in the fridge after crawled under the stove, trying to light things on fire. The gas line, it looks like, shut off automatically when I unplugged the stove last week, and I have no way of turning it back on, on my own.

  4. Blogger Deluzy | 9:33 AM |  

    You have a thoughtful, thought-provoking blog here (I linked to it from Ezpy's "A Smaller Target")

    Take as much time as you need to make a decision, pro or con, about WLS. You're a smart, together person -- you'll make the decision that's right for you.

  5. Blogger Marste | 11:49 AM |  

    ::::wry grin:::: That's always the way, you know . . . When you make a decision or a commitment to change, the Great Cosmic Muffin throws obstacles in your way to make sure you really want to change. That's how it seems to me, anyway. So good for you with the PB&J. It's not General Tso's. ;)_

  6. Blogger K | 9:27 AM |  

    Augh. Stupid stove. Some days it would be much more encouraging if the universe gave you points for trying.

    Your plan sounds good. Particularly the weights programme, but then I like weights. Good luck.

  7. Blogger Chris | 10:15 PM |  

    I love this post about your cooking moment. I haven't yet gone back to read the rest of your blog, but I hope to get more acquainted.

    Chris from FatGuyGetsFit .

  8. Blogger Anonymous | 9:17 AM |  


    I just started reading your blog. I've been thinking about surgery a lot too, but I just plain couldn't afford it (I'm based in the UK, so the NHS would never pay!), so I went to my doc who prescribed Xenical (Orlistat) and it is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I've started writing a blog about it. I've lost nearly a stone already, and I don't feel like it's too hard. Everyday I have hope and every week, without fail, another pound has gone. It's slow but steady. I don't know if you've looked into Xenical or anything similar, but I'm so so glad now I didn't just jump into surgery without trying this first. I weighed 252lbs when I started - now I'm down to 250 and counting.

    Check out my progress at www.xenicaldiaries.blogspot.com - there are links to info about the drug too.

  9. Blogger Anonymous | 9:20 AM |  

    whoops Meant to say I was 262lbs when I started - now I'm at 250. xxx

  10. Blogger Flutterby Whispers | 11:33 PM |  

    I found your blog via Dee's site (Reflected Thoughts) so thought I'd come and read and say hi :-]

    I had to laugh at your journal entry though, I had something similar happen to me, I was hungry and could of easily gone off to get something yummy and sinful but instead I decided to cook something nice and healthy, but in the middle of preparing my meal my stove stopped working lol Life can be soo cruel sometimes.

  11. Anonymous Angela (lap-band) | 6:08 PM |  

    Well, I keep checking back and no updates....have you done something and neglected to tell us? Waiting and waiting to find out whats next??? I hope all is well, and your doing good whatever is going on. Looking forward to your next post, blog, short story, whatever you call this. :)

  12. Blogger Nicole (SummersComing) | 2:46 PM |  

    Hoping everything is okay?!

  13. Anonymous Anonymous | 11:49 AM |  

    I miss you come back to us!!!

  14. Anonymous Anonymous | 6:41 PM |  

    Hey Anne -- It took me years to decide on breast reduction surgery, so I relate to what you are writing about. It's a tough decision to alter ones body.

    A couple things that have helped me: A book called "Fat is a Feminist Issue" (terrible title) and checking out a couple of OA meetings helped. I never did the program (though I could probably use it) but I picked up a few OA tools that still work for me. Good luck. Jill

  15. Anonymous Anonymous | 11:52 AM |  

    Miss your writing! Come back!

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